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I’m at Java this week. It’s tiring having to be at the bus stop by 7:10 in the morning I must say. I feel like sleeping right now. Things have been cool recently… but I have a premonition that things around here may go downhill a bit from now. I don’t think I would really mind… that’s pretty arrogant and ignorant of me to say so I guess, but after everything I really don’t think I could be bothered, and in my opinion it could be better. Still this is me and my crystal ball gazing…. lol.. so I wouldn’t count on it. I need a code name…. I’ll use XYZ. Well XYZ is impossible…. again. Bit of a vivid imagination on XYZ’s part I must say. Still, XYZ and added attachments bring me great grief, in all aspects. When XYZ + added attachments is being ABC I want to fall in a deep dark neverending hole. I wouldn’t scream, rather enjoy the freefall into neverending darkness. And if I did scream, well the echoing of it would be quite interesting. Am I f$%^&d in the mind? I don’t know that answer. Sometimes not, and sometimes I scare myself. Like your sitting there, and a thought pops into your head… its not necessarily even a bad thought, neutral, neither good nor bad, but for some reason you want to get it out of your head. The more you think the more it hurts (is that the right word?), and then you think of getting it out, but that makes it worse because you think even more… sometimes just grabbing your head works more wonders than trying to think something else. Otherwise your left like that for days and possibly weeks on end…

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