Now is when bordem starts settling in. The times where lying in bed makes you feel sick and so does sitting in front of a computer screen. The dizzyed emptiness of the mind playing wrath with your thoughts. Such was broken in the afternoon when I made a call out to install a PCI card, set up a scanner and show how to use it. Unfortunatley I didn’t get paid for it… well not in cash anyway, but I think I have a lasange coming my way in the not to distant future :-S
Tomorrow I’m going to the movies… yay 🙂 but then I don’t know what I’m going to do for the rest of the hols… So much for reading and stuff, as that hasn’t really eventuated. Still next semester I’m going to be more organised, get my priorities and what I would love back into focus. And maybe, just maybe I might work out who I am and what I want out of life. I’m still unsure and after that convo about fears and stuff like that being psychological in a sense because you associate it, it makes more sense. I don’t know who is reading this, and really if you do I hope it’s interesting but the next bits are just me thinking. I think I associate people and social interaction with a past experience. It would explain why I only have a very small group of people who I consider to be ‘true’ friends, some of which aren’t friends as such. Breaking the habit is one that sometimes gets on my nerves and makes me edgy because it’s way to out of the comfort zone. Such that a Christmas gathering is one I semi-despise and would rather be at home alone. Do I reckon seeing someone would solve? Eh who knows maybe, but it would take a pretty damn long time for the very reason that I wouldn’t trust the person at all and that it take a good long time before I did.
And as I always seem to say… uni is no much more fun than high school was. Yes I didn’t like my final year of high school at all for reasons that I don’t know how to describe except for the fact that it was totally f$%^ed. But uni is no much better because it just isn’t. I remember a convo I had about meeting a whole lot of new people with similar interests blah blah blah… but unfortunatley that is not the case. Just proves my point really. And maybe I should have taken that job and been working part time this year. You know I’d probably learn more, but then again I’d probably have dropped uni or something like that.
Where is that magic crystal ball when I need it?!?