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Sometimes don’t you want to just let it all lose on someone else, but are scared of losing it yourself? I’d be lying if I said I haven’t. Fscking brillant day it is isn’t it (sarcasm there btw), feelings/thoughts better not screw me over this week or I’m kinda stuffed aren’t I?!? Tell me something new. You know, at least I try (I hope I do anyway). What annoys me at times, is that I’m the one to give the help, the one to hear their annoyances at someone else (i.e. the rag doll that gets tossed around), the one who’s the money loaner, the one who has been doing tasks for god knows how long without a proper thanks/actual appreciation. No one’s asked me how I feel about things, FFS when was the last time every one was together and not annoyed at one or another? No-one’s asked how tiring it is. Or anything else for that matter. Though I guess if they asked I wouldn’t. We are at times all so distant and far between. When was the last time any of us actually said we loved our family? (or a family member therein) Probably when I was like fscking 5, or something lame like that. It would probably take someone getting run over by a bus before anyone took a notice of how stuffed we all are IMHO. Or how life is stuffed at times. In that Fsck The World mode at the moment.

The above is very self centered, not quite like I meant to convey it, but it’s the general sense/principal of things. Sometimes I reckon if we all lived seperate lives things would be simpler. At least writing this has calmed me down a bit. But I probably won’t talk to anyone for the rest of the day…

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