Second post for today… well following on from my previous banter, I’ve just spent the last hour or thereabouts scouring university websites regarding graduate courses in the field of education. Reasons for this, is because looking at all the info, if I choose to go down that path I need experience in a second teaching area outside computing studies… grrr. That’s something I will need to consider when I choose my electives. But I left my electives till my final year, so it gives me more time to think and procrastinate. Though if UTS still offers TAS (and they better), it says another TAS area… so hopefully VET counts as that, and I’ll just continue on my Cert II to get my Cert IV. Which would be funny, cos then IT VET actually turned out to be useful… Mmm but I have to maintain a at least Credit average for the duration of my first degree.

I’m muddled and fuddled and confused and lost and not sure of what I want to do in my life anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love computers and info tech and always will, and I would love to work in the real world, designing info systems etc. But I don’t picture myself as a ‘suit’. Not all companies require their employees to be ‘suits’, but most of the major IT companies do (and if I am to work in the real IT world, that is where I would want to be). But my lack of ‘suitness’ is something that may partly lead to my sway in career. Maybe my lack of wanting to be a ‘suit’ is ‘cos maybe I’ve never growed up? and maybe I don’t want too (I’m not sure on that aspect). Responsibilities are okay, I don’t have a problem with that, but I don’t feel comfortable with that as we get older (and hopefully wiser), we have to change our ways, style, presentation etc to the world. So I guess mentioning that word – CHANGE – it is partly a fear of mine. But I honestly don’t see myself in 3 or 4 years wearing real clothes or anytime in the near distant future either. I’d like a job where I could just me. And yet I still have to find me… I’m here somewhere just hiding and waiting to be found… yet I don’t know when or where I am.