You know, I really do think that if I were to somehow roll over tomorrow my mum would be the last person who would know, or that I would hint too. Not that I know if I’d really care or not it seems so distant at times. Not that I exactly either know what it would be like to have have a normal motherly relationship, where the mother *actually* seemed to care about the kids. Al least I know my dad does, which I guess is why I sometimes understand why he gets in his moods… It just seems like when any of us have a conversation we’re either talking to a damn brick wall, or the conversation has to become so bloody technical (if thats the way i can kinda describe it), that it’s not even classified as a conversation. That’s what you get when you spend the last 10+ years working and not having time for your family. And apparently she blames herself for it. Well it’s rude of me to say, but good. Unfortunatley it’s way to late to make up for lost time. And you really can’t expect us to go on a holiday or whatever, because its not going to fix or do any good. I don’t want to spend time as a family, its near enough non existant, that I find it hard enough having everyone at home all at the same time (which rarely happens anyway), let alone handle a few days all together. Yes sometimes I feel hurt (is that the right word?) that we’ve been in a sense neglected/abandoned (not in that harsh way, but there just words to convey) by one parent, and it did really bug me at a certain time period cemented by some words, that were said. Which btw weren’t words ‘cos I asking for it or anything. Enough rambling and feeling sorry for myself…

In other more happy news, Sal came over this afternoon and we made our BDO shirts… BDO is this Fri yay… and then had a squiz at the timetables and planned our day. Lookin’ forward to Fri =)

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